Tuesday, August 6, 2013
Personality and Preference Inventory
If you are looking for your organization sustainable growth. We need to look at organizations recruitment process as main process. That process will 100% supports for your organizations growth in the long run if you perfectly align. If that process does not aligns properly, it is a cost to the organization.So when recruiting employees have to see several attributes of candidates in different angles. Traditional methods we cant use any more. That should be blend of IQ, EQ,Skill test and psychological stability. This is a test that most of the successful organizations use to assess their candidates weather they are psychologically fit to the job. (PaPI Test).
http://www.wikijob.co.uk/wiki/personality-and-preference-inventory-papi
Monday, July 29, 2013
Sunday, July 28, 2013
The nature versus nurture
The nature versus nurture debate is one of the oldest issues in psychology. The debate centers on the relative contributions of genetic inheritance and environmental factors to human development. Some philosophers such as Plato and Descartes suggested that certain things are inborn, or that they simply occur naturally regardless of environmental influences. Other well-known thinkers such as John Locke believed in what is known as tabula rasa, which suggests that the mind begins as a blank slate. According to this notion, everything that we are and all of our knowledge is determined by our experience.
For example, when a person achieves tremendous academic success, did they do so because they are genetically predisposed to be successful or is it a result of an enriched environment? Today, the majority of experts believe that behavior and development are influenced by both nature and nurture. However, the issue still rages on in many areas such as in the debate on the origins of homosexuality and influences on intelligence.
Source://about.com
For example, when a person achieves tremendous academic success, did they do so because they are genetically predisposed to be successful or is it a result of an enriched environment? Today, the majority of experts believe that behavior and development are influenced by both nature and nurture. However, the issue still rages on in many areas such as in the debate on the origins of homosexuality and influences on intelligence.
Source://about.com
Thursday, July 18, 2013
How to Face the Exam
Processs = Transform IMPOSSIBLE to IM Possible with Just a Space
1. Study and do your homework.
2. If possible, use simple strategy: Answer the easy questions first.
3. Catch up on your sleep and eat well prior to the exam.
4. Relax, even distract yourself 30-60 min before the exam.
5. At the moment of truth, relax and treat it like just another homework assignment.
6. Most importantly, avoid the urge to panic. I know this is tough when you only have an hour or two for the exam. However, fretting over the clock only takes time and concentration away from the task at hand.
7. Take as many tests as you can. Practice makes perfect.
Good luck!
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Monday, July 15, 2013
One Thing Successful People Never Do
The One Thing Successful People Never Do
Success comes in all shapes and
colours. You can be successful in your job and career but you can equally be
successful in your marriage, at sports or a hobby. Whatever success you are
after there is one thing all radically successful people have in common: Their
ferocious drive and hunger for success makes them never give up.
Successful people (or the people
talking or writing about them) often paint a picture of the perfect ascent to
success. In fact, some of the most successful people in business, entertainment
and sport have failed. Many have failed numerous times but they have never
given up. Successful people are able to pick themselves up, dust themselves off
and carry on trying.
I have collected some examples that
should be an inspiration to anyone who aspires to be successful. They show that
if you want to succeed you should expect failure along the way. I actually
believe that failure can spur you on and make you try even harder. You could
argue that every experience of failure increases the hunger for success. The
truly successful won't be beaten, they take responsibility for failure, learn
from it and start all over from a stronger position.
Let's look at some examples,
including some of my fellow LinkedIn influencers:
Henry Ford - the pioneer of modern business entrepreneurs and the founder
of the Ford Motor Company failed a number of times on his route to success. His
first venture to build a motor car got dissolved a year and a half after it was
started because the stockholders lost confidence in Henry Ford. Ford was able
to gather enough capital to start again but a year later pressure from the
financiers forced him out of the company again. Despite the fact that the
entire motor industry had lost faith in him he managed to find another investor
to start the Ford Motor Company - and the rest is history.
Walt Disney - one of the greatest business leaders who created the
global Disney empire of film studios, theme parks and consumer products didn't
start off successful. Before the great success came a number of failures.
Believe it or not, Walt was fired from an early job at the Kansas City Star
Newspaper because he was not creative enough! In 1922 he started his first
company called Laugh-O-Gram. The Kansas based business would produce cartoons
and short advertising films. In 1923, the business went bankrupt. Walt didn't
give up, he packed up, went to Hollywood and started The Walt Disney Company.
Richard Branson - He is undoubtedly a successful entrepreneur with many
successful ventures to his name including Virgin Atlantic, Virgin Music and
Virgin Active. However, when he was 16 he dropped out of school to start a
student magazine that didn't do as well as he hoped. He then set up a
mail-order record business which did so well that he opened his own record shop
called Virgin. Along the way to success came many other failed ventures
including Virgin Cola, Virgin Vodka, Virgin Clothes, Virgin Vie, Virgin cards,
etc.
Oprah Winfrey - who ranks No 1 in the Forbes celebrity list and is
recognised as the queen of entertainment based on an amazing career as iconic
talk show host, media proprietor, actress and producer. In her earlier career
she had numerous set-backs, which included getting fired from her job as a reporter
because she was 'unfit for television', getting fired as co-anchor for the 6
O'clock weekday news on WJZ-TV and being demoted to morning TV.
J.K. Rowling - who wrote the Harry Potter books selling over 400 million
copies and making it one of the most successful and lucrative book and film
series ever. However, like so many writers she received endless rejections from
publishers. Many rejected her manuscript outright for reasons like 'it was far
too long for a children's book' or because 'children books never make any
money'. J.K. Rowling's story is even more inspiring because when she started
she was a divorced single mum on welfare.
Bill Gates -co-founder and chairman of Microsoft dropped out of Harvard
and set up a business called Traf-O-Data. The partnership between him, Paul
Allen and Paul Gilbert was based on a good idea (to read data from roadway
traffic counters and create automated reports on traffic flows) but a flawed
business model that left the company with few customers. The company ran up losses
between 1974 and 1980 before it was closed. However, Bill Gates and Paul Allen
took what they learned and avoided those mistakes whey they created the
Microsoft empire.
History is littered with many more
similar examples:
- Milton Hershey failed in his first two attempts to set up a confectionary business.
- H.J. Heinz set up a company that produced horseradish, which went bankrupt shortly after.
- Steve Jobs got fired from Apple, the company he founded. Only to return a few years later to turn it into one of the most successful companies ever.
So, the one thing successful people
never do is: Give up! I hope that this is inspiration and motivation for
everyone who aspires to be successful in whatever way they chose. Do you agree
or disagree with me? Are there other things you would add to the list of things
successful people never do? Please share your thoughts... From Linkedin
Saturday, July 13, 2013
Oh! Our Judgements
A 24 year old boy seeing out from the train's window
shouted...
"Dad, look the trees are going behind!" dad smiled and a young couple sitting nearby, looked at the 24 year old's childish behaviour with
pity, suddenly he again exclaimed ... "dad, look the clouds are running with us !" the couple couldn't resist and said to the old man... "why don't
you take your son to a good doctor?" the old man
smiled and said ... "i did and we are just coming from the hospital, my son was blind from birth, he
just got his eyes today..."
Every single person on the planet has story.
"don't judge people before you truly know them. the truth might surprise you...
think before you say something...!!!
"Dad, look the trees are going behind!" dad smiled and a young couple sitting nearby, looked at the 24 year old's childish behaviour with
pity, suddenly he again exclaimed ... "dad, look the clouds are running with us !" the couple couldn't resist and said to the old man... "why don't
you take your son to a good doctor?" the old man
smiled and said ... "i did and we are just coming from the hospital, my son was blind from birth, he
just got his eyes today..."
Every single person on the planet has story.
"don't judge people before you truly know them. the truth might surprise you...
think before you say something...!!!
Thursday, July 4, 2013
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Review of “Snakes in Suits”
Review of “Snakes in Suits”
by Robert D. Hare:
A few days ago I unexpectedly came across a book that I believe may be one of the most important books I’ve rea
Read—Snakes in Suits: When Psychopaths Go To Work, by Paul Babiak and Robert D. Hale (2006).
This is not your standard self-help book that panders to readers needing yet another pop-psychology fix. It is a serious but readable treatise on how the psycho-dynamics of predatory behavior manifests in the workplace, the damage that results when this happens, and how co-workers and superiors can and must respond with greater wisdom.
Early chapters describe in broad terms the profile of the psychopath and explain that psychopaths should not be confused with the criminally insane. The traits and behaviors are so subtle that it can be very difficult to discern the psychopaths among us, including those at work.
The authors go on to describe their discovery of the unique ways in which psychopaths behave on their paths to greater influence in organizations. The indicators are so subtle that you will probably think of certain people and wonder if they aren’t psychopaths after all. You may even wonder if you’re a psychopath! But Babiak and Hare are very careful to identify the distinct ways that psychopaths differ from people with normal emotional challenges, ego-needs, and even narcissistic tendencies. This is one of the most clarifying things about their research.
Stereotypical psychopaths who have literally killed without remorse differ from those “snakes in suits” who manifest certain psychopathic traits more than other psychopathic traits. Psychopaths in the workplace practice highly-tuned deception and manipulation whose complicated behavior is revealed with remarkable clarity in this book. And the authors virtually shout a warning to those responsible for the productivity, morale, and culture of their organizations.
The psychopaths spoken of by Babiak and Hare use people for their own aggrandizement. These people often permit this without knowledge of what is happening, until it’s too late and they are discarded. These are the psychopath’s pawns.
Meanwhile, others make excuses for the psychopath, clearing the way for further abuse of power with destructive emotional consequences. These are the psychopath’s unwitting patrons.
The psychopath’s success depends on egregious manipulation disguised by an elaborate fictional persona he adopts to induce trust, create feelings of intimacy, and sustain the perception of unusual expertise. The the authors call this “impression maintenance,” which continues through each of the distinct phases of psychopathic behavior towards individuals: (1) assessment, (2) manipulation, (3) abandonment, and (4) ascension.
It would have been very beneficial to have learned the lessons of Snakes in Suits when I began my professional life some twenty years ago. In countless associations in the academy, the arena of public discourse, the marketplace, and even religious organizations, I’m sure I’ve encountered the occasional psychopath—sometimes a very clever and skilled psychopath, indeed.
It’s never too late to learn, or to warn others. In my personal and professional relationships—especially those that involve mentoring future leaders—I’ll be recommending this book.
Reference : http://douggeivett.wordpress.com/2010/02/23/review-of-snakes-in-suits/
by Robert D. Hare:
A few days ago I unexpectedly came across a book that I believe may be one of the most important books I’ve rea
Read—Snakes in Suits: When Psychopaths Go To Work, by Paul Babiak and Robert D. Hale (2006).
This is not your standard self-help book that panders to readers needing yet another pop-psychology fix. It is a serious but readable treatise on how the psycho-dynamics of predatory behavior manifests in the workplace, the damage that results when this happens, and how co-workers and superiors can and must respond with greater wisdom.
Early chapters describe in broad terms the profile of the psychopath and explain that psychopaths should not be confused with the criminally insane. The traits and behaviors are so subtle that it can be very difficult to discern the psychopaths among us, including those at work.
The authors go on to describe their discovery of the unique ways in which psychopaths behave on their paths to greater influence in organizations. The indicators are so subtle that you will probably think of certain people and wonder if they aren’t psychopaths after all. You may even wonder if you’re a psychopath! But Babiak and Hare are very careful to identify the distinct ways that psychopaths differ from people with normal emotional challenges, ego-needs, and even narcissistic tendencies. This is one of the most clarifying things about their research.
Stereotypical psychopaths who have literally killed without remorse differ from those “snakes in suits” who manifest certain psychopathic traits more than other psychopathic traits. Psychopaths in the workplace practice highly-tuned deception and manipulation whose complicated behavior is revealed with remarkable clarity in this book. And the authors virtually shout a warning to those responsible for the productivity, morale, and culture of their organizations.
The psychopaths spoken of by Babiak and Hare use people for their own aggrandizement. These people often permit this without knowledge of what is happening, until it’s too late and they are discarded. These are the psychopath’s pawns.
Meanwhile, others make excuses for the psychopath, clearing the way for further abuse of power with destructive emotional consequences. These are the psychopath’s unwitting patrons.
The psychopath’s success depends on egregious manipulation disguised by an elaborate fictional persona he adopts to induce trust, create feelings of intimacy, and sustain the perception of unusual expertise. The the authors call this “impression maintenance,” which continues through each of the distinct phases of psychopathic behavior towards individuals: (1) assessment, (2) manipulation, (3) abandonment, and (4) ascension.
It would have been very beneficial to have learned the lessons of Snakes in Suits when I began my professional life some twenty years ago. In countless associations in the academy, the arena of public discourse, the marketplace, and even religious organizations, I’m sure I’ve encountered the occasional psychopath—sometimes a very clever and skilled psychopath, indeed.
It’s never too late to learn, or to warn others. In my personal and professional relationships—especially those that involve mentoring future leaders—I’ll be recommending this book.
Reference : http://douggeivett.wordpress.com/2010/02/23/review-of-snakes-in-suits/
Monday, June 17, 2013
Essential Article for the Modern Leaders
Flight of the Buffalo (From the Book)
Soaring
to Excellence, Learning to Let Employees Lead
Book By James A. Belasco and Ralph C. Stayer
October 2005
The authors use
examples of herds of buffalo and flocks of geese to explain old and new
leadership paradigms. When a head buffalo is killed, the herd just stands
around, not knowing what to do. However, when the lead goose is killed, other
geese are able to take over and the flock can keep on flying.
A flock of geese
represents the new leadership paradigm, which has these principles:
» Leaders transfer ownership for work to
those who execute the work.
» Leaders create the environment for
ownership where each person wants to be responsible.
» Leaders coach the development of personal
capabilities.
» Leaders learn fast themselves and
encourage others also to learn quickly.
In addition to these
principles, there were several persistent themes throughout book:
» A leader must learn that in most
instances he or she is the problem.
» The customer is the boss.
» Think strategically. Start with what you
need for your customer and work backwards.
» Everyone must be a leader to have
effective leadership.
Of course it all starts
with the leader, and the leader will often need a coach to be able to see that
he or she needs to get out of the way for employees to have a chance to make
things work more efficiently. The authors see many leaders who have “fix them”
attitudes, when in reality, it is the leader who needs to change.
As the authors
discovered, ordering an organization to operate differently can be like asking
buffalo to fly. It is a slow process that must start by asking the people
involved what the leader is doing to prevent them from assuming responsibility
and performing at a higher level.
The authors offer a
method “for transforming buffalo into geese…the Leading the Journey (LTJ)
leadership system.” The model is based on four leadership activities:
Determining Focus and Direction, Removing Obstacles, Developing Ownership and
Stimulating Self-Directed Action.
Determining the Focus
Start with the
consumers. Ask them what they want. Ask how you can help them be a great
performer. Look at your competition as your best friend. Examine their
strategies and yours from your customer’s perspectives. Are you creating value
for your customer? Are you focusing on a few problems and ignoring the rest?
Removing Obstacles
The first thing to do
is ask your people for their input, using this performance management model:
(1) the manager determines the overall parameters/objectives, (2) performers
and customers set standards, and (3) expectations are reduced to a specific
measurable number. An information system is necessary to tell the employees how
they are doing, in real time. A reward system must be aligned and considered
fair and motivational.
Developing Ownership
The boss’s desk may be
where the buck stops, but it is important that it is not also where it begins.
Delegation of authority can be tricky if the recipient is unwilling or facing
ownership for the first time. The leader’s task is summarized in four letters:
FCLP. "In every possible situation, Focus Conversation on Learning about
Performance." The authors define success as "ownership for the right
responsibilities by the right people."
Stimulating Self-Directed
Actions
If possible, leaders
should prevent problems, not solve them. One of the best ways to do this is to
reward people for solving their own problems rather than rewarding people for
bringing them to you. It is also important to eliminate nonessential parts of
the business. Simplify operations as much as possible and measure what you want
to get done. Expect very high standards. Put the right people in the right
positions.
Conclusion
The authors conclude
with a discussion on the importance of learning. It frequently involves leaving
your “comfort zone” and trying new things and moving faster than you or your
colleagues are ready to move. When worried about making mistakes, they quote
(without attribution) "he who makes no mistakes ends up making
nothing."
I really like the
symbols of the buffalo and the geese. I like the very human touch of the
admission the authors make that they have their buffalo “V’d” up, as in the
format of a flock of geese, but they have not yet taken off. There is even an
admission that from time to time their head buffalo mentality comes back
without warning. Nonetheless, they make compelling arguments for empowerment
and continuous learning.
This may not bother
most people, but I found it very disconcerting that the book is written in the
first person, even though there are two authors. They explain this by saying
that they think alike and have had similar experiences, but I could never quite
get over wondering who “I” was in many of the stories, and I found that it detracted
from the message.
Saturday, June 8, 2013
How business communication helps for Best Business Results
Effective Communication
Source: http://www.helpguide.org
Improving Communication Skills in Business and
Relationships
Effective
communication helps us better understand a person or situation and enables us
to resolve differences, build trust and respect, and create environments where
creative ideas, problem solving, affection, and caring can flourish. As simple
as communication seems, much of what we try to communicate to others—and what
others try to communicate to us—gets misunderstood, which can cause conflict
and frustration in personal and professional relationships. By learning these
effective communication skills, you can better connect with your spouse, kids,
friends, and coworkers.
What is effective communication?
In the information age, we have to send, receive, and
process huge numbers of messages every day. But effective communication is
about more than just exchanging information; it's also about understanding the
emotion behind the information. Effective communication can improve
relationships at home, work, and in social situations by deepening your
connections to others and improving teamwork, decision-making, and problem
solving. It enables you to communicate even negative or difficult messages
without creating conflict or destroying trust. Effective communication combines
a set of skills including nonverbal communication, attentive listening, the
ability to manage stress in the moment, and the capacity to recognize and
understand your own emotions and those of the person you’re communicating with.
While effective communication is a learned skill, it is
more effective when it’s spontaneous rather than formulaic. A speech that is
read, for example, rarely has the same impact as a speech that’s delivered (or
appears to be delivered) spontaneously. Of course, it takes time and effort to
develop these skills and become an effective communicator. The more effort and
practice you put in, the more instinctive and spontaneous your communication
skills will become.
Listening is one of the most important aspects of
effective communication. Successful listening means not just understanding the
words or the information being communicated, but also understanding how the
speaker feels about what they’re communicating.
Effective
listening can:
- Make the speaker feel heard and understood, which can help build a stronger, deeper connection between you.
- Create an environment where everyone feels safe to express ideas, opinions, and feelings, or plan and problem solve in creative ways.
- Save time by helping clarify information, avoid conflicts and misunderstandings.
- Relieve negative emotions. When emotions are running high, if the speaker feels that he or she has been truly heard, it can help to calm them down, relieve negative feelings, and allow for real understanding or problem solving to begin.
Tips for effective listening
If your goal is to fully understand and connect
with the other person, listening effectively will often come naturally. If it
doesn’t, you can remember the following tips. The more you practice them, the
more satisfying and rewarding your interactions with others will become.
- Focus fully on the speaker, his or her body language, and other nonverbal cues. If you’re daydreaming, checking text messages, or doodling, you’re almost certain to miss nonverbal cues in the conversation. If you find it hard to concentrate on some speakers, try repeating their words over in your head—it’ll reinforce their message and help you stay focused.
- Avoid interrupting or trying to redirect the conversation to your concerns, by saying something like, “If you think that’s bad, let me tell you what happened to me.” Listening is not the same as waiting for your turn to talk. You can’t concentrate on what someone’s saying if you’re forming what you’re going to say next. Often, the speaker can read your facial expressions and know that your mind’s elsewhere.
- Avoid seeming judgmental. In order to communicate effectively with someone, you don’t have to like them or agree with their ideas, values, or opinions. However, you do need to set aside your judgment and withhold blame and criticism in order to fully understand a person. The most difficult communication, when successfully executed, can lead to the most unlikely and profound connection with someone.
- Show your interest in what’s being said. Nod occasionally, smile at the person, and make sure your posture is open and inviting. Encourage the speaker to continue with small verbal comments like “yes” or “uh huh.”
Effective communication skills #2: Nonverbal
communication
When we communicate things that we care about, we do so
mainly using nonverbal signals. Wordless communication, or body language,
includes facial expressions, body movement and gestures, eye contact, posture,
the tone of your voice, and even your muscle tension and breathing. The way you
look, listen, move, and react to another person tells them more about how
you’re feeling than words alone ever can.
Developing the ability to understand and use nonverbal
communication can help you connect with others, express what you really mean,
navigate challenging situations, and build better relationships at home and
work.
- You can enhance effective communication by using open body language—arms uncrossed, standing with an open stance or sitting on the edge of your seat, and maintaining eye contact with the person you’re talking to.
- You can also use body language to emphasize or enhance your verbal message—patting a friend on the back while complimenting him on his success, for example, or pounding your fists to underline your message.
Tips for improving how you read nonverbal communication
- Practice observing people in public places, such as a shopping mall, bus, train, cafĂ©, restaurant, or even on a television talk show with the sound muted. Observing how others use body language can teach you how to better receive and use nonverbal signals when conversing with others. Notice how people act and react to each other. Try to guess what their relationship is, what they’re talking about, and how each feels about what is being said.
- Be aware of individual differences. People from different countries and cultures tend to use different nonverbal communication gestures, so it’s important to take age, culture, religion, gender, and emotional state into account when reading body language signals. An American teen, a grieving widow, and an Asian businessman, for example, are likely to use nonverbal signals differently.
- Look at nonverbal communication signals as a group. Don’t read too much into a single gesture or nonverbal cue. Consider all of the nonverbal signals you receive, from eye contact to tone of voice to body language. Anyone can slip up occasionally and let eye contact slip, for example, or briefly cross their arms without meaning to. Consider the signals as a whole to get a better “read” on a person.
Tips for improving how to deliver nonverbal communication
- Use nonverbal signals that match up with your words. Nonverbal communication should reinforce what is being said, not contradict it. If you say one thing, but your body language says something else, your listener will likely feel you’re being dishonest. For example, you can’t say “yes” while shaking your head no.
- Adjust your nonverbal signals according to the context. The tone of your voice, for example, should be different when you’re addressing a child than when you’re addressing a group of adults. Similarly, take into account the emotional state and cultural background of the person you’re interacting with.
- Use body language to convey positive feelings even when you're not actually experiencing them. If you’re nervous about a situation—a job interview, important presentation, or first date, for example—you can use positive body language to signal confidence, even though you’re not feeling it. Instead of tentatively entering a room with your head down, eyes averted, and sliding into a chair, try standing tall with your shoulders back, smiling and maintaining eye contact, and delivering a firm handshake. It will make you feel more self-confident and help to put the other person at ease.
Effective communication skills #3: Managing stress
In small doses, stress can help you perform under
pressure. However, when stress becomes constant and overwhelming, it can hamper
effective communication by disrupting your capacity to think clearly and
creatively, and act appropriately. When you’re stressed, you’re more likely to
misread other people, send confusing or off-putting nonverbal signals, and
lapse into unhealthy knee-jerk patterns of behavior.
How many times have you felt stressed during a
disagreement with your spouse, kids, boss, friends, or coworkers and then said
or done something you later regretted? If you can quickly relieve stress and
return to a calm state, you’ll not only avoid such regrets, but in many cases
you’ll also help to calm the other person as well. It’s only when you’re in a
calm, relaxed state that you'll be able to know whether the situation requires
a response, or whether the other person’s signals indicate it would be better
to remain silent.
Quick stress relief for effective communication
When stress strikes, you can’t always temper it
by taking time out to meditate or go for a run, especially if you’re in the
middle of a meeting with your boss or an argument with your spouse, for
example. By learning to quickly reduce stress in the moment, though, you can
safely face any strong emotions you’re experiencing, regulate your feelings,
and behave appropriately. When you know how to maintain a relaxed, energized
state of awareness—even when something upsetting happens—you can remain
emotionally available and engaged.
To deal with stress during communication:
Recognize when you’re becoming stressed. Your
body will let you know if you’re stressed as you communicate. Are your muscles
or your stomach tight and/or sore? Are your hands clenched? Is your breath
shallow? Are you "forgetting" to breathe?
Take a moment to calm down before deciding
to continue a conversation or postpone it.
Bring your senses to the rescue and quickly
manage stress by taking a few deep breaths, clenching and relaxing muscles, or
recalling a soothing, sensory-rich image, for example. The best way to rapidly
and reliably relieve stress is through the senses: sight, sound, touch, taste,
and smell. But each person responds differently to sensory input, so you need
to find things that are soothing to you.
Look for humor in the situation. When used
appropriately, humor is a great way to relieve stress when communicating. When
you or those around you start taking things too seriously, find a way to
lighten the mood by sharing a joke or amusing story.
Be willing to compromise. Sometimes, if
you can both bend a little, you’ll be able to find a happy middle ground that
reduces the stress levels for everyone concerned. If you realize that the other
person cares much more about something than you do, compromise may be easier
for you and a good investment in the future of the relationship.
Agree to disagree, if necessary, and take
time away from the situation so everyone can calm down. Take a quick break and
move away from the situation. Go for a stroll outside if possible, or spend a few
minutes meditating. Physical movement or finding a quiet place to regain your
balance can quickly reduce stress.
Effective communication skills #4: Emotional awareness
Emotions play an important role in the way we
communicate at home and work. It’s the way you feel, more than the way you
think, that motivates you to communicate or to make decisions. The way you
react to emotionally driven, nonverbal cues affects both how you understand
other people and how they understand you. If you are out of touch with your
feelings, and don’t understand how you feel or why you feel that way, you’ll
have a hard time communicating your feelings and needs to others. This can
result in frustration, misunderstandings, and conflict. When you don’t address
what’s really bothering you, you often become embroiled in petty squabbles
instead—arguing with your spouse about how the towels should be hung, for
example, or with a coworker about whose turn it is to restock the copier.
Emotional awareness provides you the tools needed
for understanding both yourself and other people, and the real messages they
are communicating to you. Although knowing your own feelings may seem simple,
many people ignore or try to sedate strong emotions like anger, sadness, and
fear. But your ability to communicate depends on being connected to these
feelings. If you’re afraid of strong emotions or if you insist on communicating
only on a rational level, it will impair your ability to fully understand
others, creatively problem solve, resolve conflicts, or build an affectionate
connection with someone.
How emotional awareness can improve effective communication
Emotional awareness—the consciousness of
your moment-to-moment emotional experience—and the ability to
manage all of your feelings appropriately is the basis for effective
communication.
Emotional awareness helps you:
- Understand and empathize with what is really troubling other people
- Understand yourself, including what’s really troubling you and what you really want
- Stay motivated to understand and empathize with the person you’re interacting with, even if you don’t like them or their message
- Communicate clearly and effectively, even when delivering negative messages
- Build strong, trusting, and rewarding relationships, think creatively, solve problems, and resolve conflicts
Effective communication requires both thinking and feeling
When emotional awareness is strongly developed,
you’ll know what you’re feeling without having to think about it—and you’ll be able
to use these emotional cues to understand what someone is really communicating
to you and act accordingly. The goal of effective communication is to find a
healthy balance between your intellect and your emotions, between thinking and
feeling.
Emotional awareness is a skill you can learn
Emotional awareness is a skill that, with
patience and practice, can be learned at any time of life. You can develop
emotional awareness by learning how to get in touch with difficult emotions and
manage uncomfortable feelings, including anger, sadness, fear, disgust,
surprise, and joy. When you know how to do this, you can remain in control of
your emotions and behavior, even in very challenging situations, and
communicate more clearly and effectively.
Improving Emotional Awareness.
Emotions are the foundation of your ability to understand yourself and
communicate effectively with others. Emotional awareness allows you to
understand what others are feeling and to empathize with them.
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